Questions people ask me about freelancing...

Q1 - So you're still writing your little book/poems/etc.?

Yes, when I have the time.  Most of my time is taken up by writing web copy for you to read for the rare chance you might actually visit a webpage besides Facebook.

Q2 - Must be nice not having a real job.

Must be nice knowing that you will definitely get paid on a regular basis.  While I've never been stiffed by a writing client, I've heard it happens.  Must be nice having your taxes done for you.  

Q3 - Writing doesn't sound too difficult.

Rocket science isn't difficult for Sheldon Cooper.  Conceptualizing, writing, and editing isn't always a picnic.  It can also drain your energy.

Q4 - I always thought I'd write a book after I retire, once I have some time to kill.

Well, let me know how that works out for you while you're working at WalMart because your pension from your employer and SSI doesn't cover your needs.  

Q5 - Wait a second, creative writing degrees are a real thing?

Yes.  I don't have one.  It's not necessary for the industry; I am sure that having one helps for certain projects.  

Q6 - Have you been published yet?

Short answer: yes.  Long answer: yes.  My work appears in a literary journal.  I also have two chapbooks of poetry and a published novel.  You've also read my work on Findlaw.com and other professional websites without realizing it.  I'm a ghostwriter.  

Q7 - Can I be a character in one of your stories?

I usually only write in people that I'm going to kill.  How would you like to die?

Q8 - So I have this great idea I think you should be using in your book...

So I wonder why, if it's so great, you aren't writing it for yourself.  I love reader perspective, but I also know when someone is an idiot.  I also know what people want to read.  Go to Dollar Tree and get yourself a notebook.  Write down all you can about your idea and then hire me to ghostwrite your novel.  

Q9 - Aren't writers just professional liars?  They tell stories for a living, after all.

Short answer: maybe.  Do you consider those who write non-fiction of any sort a liar?  As far as fiction, you love the way we lie to you.

Q10 - You're writing a book?  Tell me everything.

No.  You can buy it just like everyone else.