Monday, June 16, 2014

Making Lemonade

Someone recently said to me in a private message that when they see my posts from the last year on Facebook, they realize they don't have such a bad life after all.  I used to work with this person.  She was and is a phenomenal person.  Her simple message and the nice things she said about me to a mutual friend that came to one of my lectures as a guest speaker made me cry.
Tonight I am watching a documentary on Lemon Andersen.  He is an amazing individual and poet.  I just heard him deliver his poem Watch Me.  At the end he says, "Watch me make the best goddamn lemonade."
He makes an incredible and valid point for any person regardless of the life lived.  Life throws challenges to all of us.  What I might find to be a challenge may not seem like a challenge to you.  What you find as a challenge may not seem like a challenge to me.  It doesn't make those experiences any less challenging.
That one line in his poem made me consider my life.  How is it that I have been able to overcome so many things and continue to go through things yet still move on?  It's just like Andersen said - watch me make the best goddamn lemonade.  Life continues to hand me lemons.  Those are not things that are within my control.
I don't believe God punishes people with sickness or chooses to not heal based on the concept of sin.  I do believe from whatever perspective you look from that this world (and life upon it) is not perfect. We all suffer in some form.
So what do I do, at almost 35 years old, with a heart attack, heart damage, kidney damage, and Systemic Lupus?  I am not (nor have I ever) sat around feeling sorry for myself.  I don't believe in pity parties.  I will make the best of what I do have and what I can accomplish.  I will take advantage of the current medical treatment being offered to me.  I will continue to be the best adjunct college instructor within my capability.  I will continue to fight for my children to the best of my capability.  I will continue to love my fiance  and my bonus son.  I will continue to really not give a damn what others think about me.
In short, I will take all of the things that life has thrown at me and I will overcome them.  I will make lemonade (and most likely spike it with vodka).  Lemon Andersen is my new hero.  I want to be just like him when I grow up.

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Play nice...the hand that feeds you can also choke you.