An uncompromised, unedited, and unfiltered look at the freelance writing life

Monday, September 15, 2014

A good laugh

My mother in law and I had a good laugh at my expense the other day. It is well known that I am a homebody. That's my nice way of saying that I am super fucking boring. I really am. I always have been kinda boring. My brain is extremely interesting, but me? Boring. If there were a competition for extreme introverts, I would own that shit. I really would.

There was a time that my ex had me followed. I know this to be true because he had it done to his other ex at one point. I told my mother in law that must have been the world's most boring stake out with me.

That guy had to be falling asleep in his car thinking I was either a brilliant criminal mastermind or the world's most boring person. Seriously, even when I taught college my schedule was boring. I left in the morning and taught until noon. I went home. I took a nap. I changed clothes. I went to the store if I needed to do so. Sometimes I fed the ducks or watched the squirrels in the yard. Then, I went inside and made dinner. I ate and watched NetFlix or read. My idea of "going out" included an occasional trip to IHOP to eat and wonder who was staring at the loser girl eating alone.

Now? Not much has changed. Sure, I've remarried. When all the boys are home we might go out to eat or go see family for a little while. We might go to the park. We do family style outings.

Now I wake up in the morning about 5 am and take my husband to work so that I can keep the car. I work from home doing freelance writing. I let the dog in and out. At one, I take the little on to Kindergarten. I pick him up a couple of hours later. I pick up my husband. We come home. We eat dinner.

My weekends aren't much more exciting. My birthday was last Friday. I came home and went to sleep. Saturday? So much excitement. I watched the OU game on the couch and slept. I get most of my social interaction through instant messenger with clients. My husband is a professional musician as well. Sometimes I do attend his shows. Most of the time I am perfectly happy to just stay home.

I asked him how it feels to be married to the world's most boring person. He loves it. My mother in law loves that I am boring, too. Of course, they have nicer ways of telling me that I am boring. I guess it must be nice for a man to be married to a woman who doesn't want or need to go out a lot or on a lot of dates. I like it once in a while...but I am perfectly content to just stay home.

I'm sorry, Mr. Private Investigator, that I am so boring. I guess I'm not sorry. You were paid to nap. I think that's a dream job most people would love to have, wouldn't they?

Monday Writing Gigs

If you want to know how you can help support this endeavor...or want a way to say thank you, you can always go buy my book.

Article Writing

Writer - ViralNova

Business and Legal Writing

Content Writing

Copywriting

Ebook Writing

Real estate investment and personal growth ebooks

Professional Blogger

Technical Writing

Technical Writer: Avionics

Miscellaneous Writing

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Writing gigs

Here are some writing gigs out of the more than 200 emails in my inbox. The crazy thing is that I've deleted probably 200 or more emails since the last time I posted jobs. Maybe one day I will hammer out my schedule again to post these on a daily basis. Then again, maybe not. I suppose being busy is a good problem to have. Enjoy. Share the blog.

Article Writing

Beauty and Fashion Writing

Luxury Fashion and Style Contributor - Gritstyle
Lots of beauty and fashion writing jobs

Business and Legal Writing

Content Writing

SEO website content
Content Manager - Must be local
Content Writer - EverTrue
Hospitality Writer
Content Producer - must be local to NYC area
Online dating magazine
Women's retail writing
Write about professional licensing
Writer - Profiles
Digital Content Manager - WeTV
Director of Content - Little Things
Web Content Writer - must be local
Web Content Writer - Tourneau
Contract Social Writer - CBS
Jr. SEO Writer ($18 /hr)
Culinary and Hospitality Writers - nSight, Inc ($25 - 30 / hr DOE)
Freelance Content Writer - L2T Media
Freelance Arts Writer - Artsy.net
Web Content Specialist - Nationwide Insurance

Copywriting

Copywriter: New Zealand culture
Copywriter: news advertorial
Dental copywriter
Sales copywriting
Education copywriter with SEO knowledge
Senior Copywriter - SiriusXM
Website contentwriting ($50 / hr)
Food Copywriter ($27 / hr DOE)
Marketing Copywriter - EcoLab, Inc.
Copywriter: sales marketing
SEO Writer: IT Technical

Educational Writing

PT Science Writer - New York Academy of Sciences

Professional Blogging

Proposal and Grant Writing

Grant writing

Technical Writing

Freelance Technical Writer - Phelps Agency
Technical Writer
Technical Writer ($14 - $17 / per hour)
35 page technical report ($185)
Junior Technical Writer
Technical Coordinator
Freelance Technical Writers

Travel Writing

Miscellaneous Writing

Professional Literature Review
Ghostwriter for dog book
Professional text editor
Ghostwrite a true life crime thriller
Hypnosis scripts
CV and Linked In
Parenting Editor - WhatToExpect.com
Hockey writers
Nutrition and Fitness Editor
Freelance Editor (onsite:Austin, TX)
Plain Language Writer - Health Literacy Missouri
Content Editor - NewYork.com
Proofread business plan
Crowdfunding pitch
CV writing
Business editing

Friday, September 12, 2014

What a birthday...

So, today is my 36th birthday. I was going to be silly and say that today is the first anniversary of my 35th birthday, but getting older doesn't really bother me (except the flabby old lady arms I've seemed to develop overnight...clearly, I need to incorporate some light exercise into my life).

It's cooler today and the temperature is going to continue to drop. It's raining. These things are fine by me.

We are waiting on a plumber to address sporadic hot water issues we've had over the last few weeks. Hopefully blowing out the lines will work. I don't think it's the hot water heater although it might be...it might just need a new heating element or need to be replaced altogether. We are taking the path of least resistance thus far.

This morning when Bull and I woke up (for those wondering, we get up around 5 am) we had no cold water either. -insert panic and freak out here- We stopped by OnCue on our way to drop him off at work...and they have a sign about a huge water main break. I was relieved and annoyed. That will make the plumber's job super fun. He can still blow out the lines, but we won't know if it worked until after the main is fixed.

Of course because we have no water, I decided to go ahead and go to Sprawl-mart to get some. I mean, with a dog and a five year old...you kinda need water. I've heard that's important and I'm pretty sure that people would frown on giving the kid a bath in the rain (no, I really would not do that, creepers - it's a damn joke...click here to download a sense of humor). So, off to Sprawl-mart I go in my fuzzy hot pink pajama bottoms and red Minnie Mouse sweatshirt. I'm sure that my husband is now the envy of many men....because today he dressed better than his wife.

I was mortified to be at Sprawl-mart in pajamas. I don't know how people do that on a regular basis. That's not an "I don't give a fuck what you think" attitude. That's an "I'm too lazy to spend 30 seconds to throw on a pair of pants" attitude. If you aren't going in the middle of the night for an emergency, have some pride in yourself and put on some clothes.

The cashier knew I was mortified, but she knew why I was there. The water main break affected her, too. She said, "Don't worry - you still look better than half the people who come in here in their pajamas and at least you have an excuse." Thanks, lady, but while I am fine with blaming the water main break, I am not okay with this.

Oh well. I'll live. My husband has a nice evening planned for me. Some of my oldest and closest friends are coming. I've been invited to sample the fare at one of the hottest pizza spots in town. So, life is good.

There may be a few other rants and announcements later in the day, but I have to get some stuff done.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Why I freelance #764

I freelance so that I don't have to worry about sick leave.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

I am an idiot

As I sat here for an hour writing a blog post for a client who is out of town, I did it in the midst of three children and a dog. Of course my husband is here and yes he's been helping me. In fact he's making me a grilled cheese now.

I exhaled a huge sigh of relief after banging out close to 900 words in the last hour. Then I realized a horrific truth: time tracker wasn't even turned on.

Sigh.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Labor Day Writing Gigs

I think that I'm going to try a new format. Let me know how you like it. Other writing lead websites use a similar format...and I think it will be beneficial. Too bad we can't just make a table here on Blogger. :) I'm putting together a live series on how to become a freelance writer. I've got my channels ready...now it's all about recording.

Academic Writing